i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
