apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
