your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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