I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
