he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We need to get me chipped asap
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
