If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
