Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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