My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
