Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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