My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
