At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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