How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
