I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Screwed.edu
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
