Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Terrible idea I love it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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