You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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