This is not my ceiling
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
