i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
