At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
