she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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