I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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