I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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