SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
