hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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