You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
