margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize