On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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