Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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