Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize