you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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