it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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