Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
