If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
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i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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