also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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