I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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