the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize