I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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