God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
