just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Shame is for Republicans.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
