i love accidental penises.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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