My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
