Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
