sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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