Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
