He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
