I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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