spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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