splinters make it hard to masturbate
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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