HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
