wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We're too hungover to prance.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
