You're my little dorito
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
