im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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