i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
