Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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