I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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