from now on my penis is your penis
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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