Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
