You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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