his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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