I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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