winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
