We won't sleep together?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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