There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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