no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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